This preemie baby couldn’t go to his parent’s wedding—so they brought it to him 😭 – Motherly Inc.
When Amanda Acevedo was pregnant she wasn’t just planning for a baby, she was also planning a wedding. She was supposed to marry her fiancé, Edwin, on a beach in June and then welcome their baby boy in August.
But when Amanda’s water broke early everything changed. She was admitted to the hospital for three weeks and went into pre-term labor on June 14. Baby Oliver came into the world two months early, weighing just 3 pounds, 14.6 ounces, and Amanda and her fiancé Edwin stopped thinking about romantic beach weddings, but certainly not about their love for each other and their baby boy.
Caring for their preemie together in the NICU the two felt closer than ever and decided they would just get married quickly down at the courthouse in Raleigh, North Carolina, and then plan a “real” wedding for next year.
But when they told a nurse they would be away from the hospital for a quick courthouse wedding, they ended up with the wedding of their dreams. It wasn’t on the beach, but their baby was able to be part of it.
As Amanda tells Motherly, she and Edwin ended up walking down the aisle in the hospital chapel with their baby boy, thanks to hospital staff who went above and beyond in delivering family-centered care and an unforgettable wedding.
“We could not have asked for a more special or memorable wedding”
The morning of the wedding Amanda got a call from Mallory Magelli McKeown, a Family Navigator at WakeMed Children’s Hospital. McKeown had heard from the nurses that Amanda and Edwin planned to dash down to the courthouse that afternoon and she had an offer for them.
“She said she would be happy to marry us at the hospital in the chapel,” Amanda tells Motherly. “Oliver’s doctor, Dr. Demeo, said he was stable enough to be unhooked from his monitors so I could carry him during the ceremony.”
McKeown is amazing at her job as a Family Navigator, but she tells Motherly she is an is ordained minister and has also served as a chaplain. That’s why she was able to officiate a wedding on the fly, and can now add “instant wedding planner” to her resume.
“They had planned on a 2:30 wedding at the courthouse so we held to that timeline. We have some really amazing nurses and they wanted to decorate for the wedding so I ran out and got some decorations to surprise the family with,” McKeown explains.
Carrying her baby instead of a bouquet
Amanda was blown away by everything McKeown and her colleagues did to ensure she had a wedding she would love.
“The NICU staff was so sweet and surprised us by decorating Oliver’s room, dressed him up in a little suit, decorated his crib, and made it possible for him to come down to the third floor to the chapel,” she says.
Instead of carrying a bouquet down the aisle, Amanda carried her son, something that was very special to her as a NICU mom.
“It’s just hard when you think the safest place for your baby is in your arms but being a preemie that wasn’t always the case. You sometimes feel more like a visitor or [bystander] than a mother or father because the nurses have to do the medical side of his care so you just stand and watch and hope they get better,” she tells Motherly.
Before her pregnancy complications changed her plans Amanda had always planned to carry Oliver with her on her wedding day and thanks to the efforts of McKeown and her colleagues she got to—with no wires or monitors to keep them apart.
Celebrating the formation of a family
When Amanda and Oliver got to the altar McKeown had yet another surprise for the NICU mama.
“Mallory made the vows personal to our time here and this new chapter in our lives,” Amanda tells Motherly. “It was all just so sweet and special and I could not have asked for a more perfect wedding.”
The WakeMed campus will always be a special place for the Acevedos. It is where some of the most stressful days of their lives took place, but also the venue for one of the happiest. The Acevedos are so thankful to the staff who have cared for Oliver as he’s grown—because this little guy has grown a lot!
“He is currently 8 pounds, 5.7 ounces,” Amanda tells Motherly. “If all continues well he will be discharged Wednesday morning and can finally come home.”
We’re not crying. You’re crying.
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While breastfeeding might seem like a simple task, there are so many pieces to the puzzle aside from your breasts and baby. From securing a good latch, boosting your milk supply and navigating pumping at work or feeding throughout the night, there’s a lot that mama has to go through—and a number of products she needs.
No matter how long your nursing journey may be, it can be hard to figure out what items you really need to add to your cart. So we asked our team at Motherly to share items they simply couldn’t live without while breastfeeding. You know, those ones that are a total game-changer.
Here are the best 13 products that they recommend—and you can get them all from Walmart.com:
1. Medela Nursing Sleep Bra
“This fuss-free nursing bra was perfect for all the times that I was too tired to fumble with a clasp. It’s also so comfy that, I have to admit, I still keep it in rotation despite the fact that my nursing days are behind me (shh!).” —Mary S.
Price: $15.99
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3. Multi-Use Nursing Cover
“When I was breastfeeding, it was important to me to feel like a part of things, to be around people, entertain guests, etc. Especially since so much of being a new mom can feel isolating. So having the ability to cover up but still breastfeed out in the open, instead of disappearing into a room somewhere for long stretches alone to feed, made me feel better.”—Renata
Price: $11.99
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4. Lansinoh TheraPearl Breast Therapy Pack
“I suffered from extreme engorgement during the first weeks after delivery with both of my children. I wouldn’t have survived had it not been for these packs that provided cold therapy for engorgement and hot therapy for clogged milk ducts.” —Deena
Price: $10.25
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5. Medela Quick Clean Breast Pump Wipes
“Being a working and pumping mama, these quick clean wipes made pumping at the office so much easier, and quicker. I could give everything a quick wipe down between pumping sessions. And did not need a set of spare parts for the office.” —Ashley
Price: $19.99
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6. Earth Mama Organic Nipple Butter
“This nipple butter is everything, you don’t need to wash it off before baby feeds/you pump. I even put some on my lips at the hospital and it saved me from chapped lips and nips.” —Conz
Price: $12.95
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7. Medela Double Electric Pump
“I had latch issues and terrible postpartum anxiety, and was always worried my son wasn’t getting enough milk. So I relied heavily on my breast pump so that I could feed him bottles and know exactly how much he was drinking. This Medela pump and I were best friends for almost an entire year” —Karell
Price: $199.99 Receive a $50 gift card with purchase at walmart.com
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8. Lansinoh Disposable Stay Dry Nursing Pads
“I overproduced in the first couple weeks (and my milk would come in pretty much every time my baby LOOKED at my boobs), so Lansinoh disposable nursing pads saved me from many awkward leak situations!” —Justine
Price: $9.79
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10. Medela Harmony Breast Pump
“Because I didn’t plan to breastfeed I didn’t buy a pump before birth. When I decided to try, I needed a pump so my husband ran out and bought this. It was easy to use, easy to wash and more convenient than our borrowed electric pump.” —Heather
Price: $26.99
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11. Milkies Fenugreek
“I struggled with supply for my first and adding this to my regimen really helped with increasing milk.” —Mary N.
Price: $14.95
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12. Lansinoh Breast Milk Storage Bags
“I exclusively pumped for a year with my first and these are hands down the best storage bags. All others always managed to crack eventually. These can hold a great amount and I haven’t had a leak! And I have used over 300-400 of these!” —Carla
Price: $13.19
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13. Kiinde Twist Breastfeeding Starter Kit
“The Kiinde system made pumping and storing breastmilk so easy. It was awesome to be able pump directly into the storage bags, and then use the same bags in the bottle to feed my baby.” —Diana
Price: $21.99
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This article is sponsored by Walmart. Thank you for supporting the brands that support Motherly and mamas.
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In many ways, having a baby in Alaska is much the same as in Alabama: All babies need food, love and care. And all parents are responsible for navigating the life transition. But the expense associated with welcoming a baby? That sure does vary widely based on where in the United States the baby is born.
After assessing 30 key measures—including infant care costs, child care centers per capita, delivery charges and more—data analysts from WalletHub determined Vermont is the most ideal state to welcome a baby in 2019.
On the other end of the spectrum, parents in Mississippi were disadvantaged by the state’s higher infant-mortality rates and lower distribution of midwives or OB-GYNs per capita. (Although folks in southern states generally saved the most on average infant-care costs.)
“If local authorities want to attract families in their area—and for a host of societal reasons, it would behoove them—they should continue to strive for greater public safety and more family-friendly environments,” Jeff Wallace, a business advisor and assistant professor at Snow College, tells WalletHub.
The experts at WalletHub divided the 26 measures into four categories: cost, health care, baby-friendliness and family-friendliness. Then each metric was graded on a 100-point scale, with a score of 100 representing favorable conditions, such as low costs or better delivery outcomes.
The best states to have a baby are Vermont, Massachusetts, North Dakota, Rhode Island and Minnesota. Oklahoma, Louisiana, Alabama and Mississippi are the lowest ranking states, according to WalletHub.
While the list is focused on the best places to have a baby, experts who have weighed in on the annual findings said there are much longer-term implications. “Children are more likely to be successful when they grow up in communities that feel safe, have families that are connected to each other, and offer support services if the family needs them,” says Steven Meyers, Ph.D., Director of Undergraduate Psychology Programs and Initiative for Child and Family Studies at Roosevelt University. “Local authorities can establish these as priorities when they decide how to allocate resources.”
Here are the 5 states we should look to for examples:
1. Vermont
Has the most pediatricians and family doctors per capita.
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When Amy Schumer went onstage and got super honest about her husband’s autism diagnosis, we applauded her. And this week, when an internet commenter asked how she would feel if their son is also on the spectrum, we applauded Amy’s hilarious response.
It happened on Instagram after Amy posted a sweet photo of herself and her son, asking in the caption: “Would anyone be interested in seeing a docu series of my pregnancy and birth?”
Many celebs and commenters replied with resounding yeses, but one Instagram user came to the comments section with a no, suggesting something else entirely: “I’d like to see a documentary of you discovering your mate is diagnosed with autism and how you cope with the possibility that your child will be on the spectrum,” the commenter wrote.
“How I cope? I don’t see being on the spectrum as a negative thing,” Schumer replied. “My husband is my favorite person I’ve ever met. He’s kind, hilarious, interesting and talented and I admire him. Am I supposed to hope my son isn’t like that? I will pay attention and try and provide him with the tools he needs to overcome whatever challenges come up like all parents. I’d be disappointed if he liked the Big Bang theory and Nascar not if he has ASD.”
Mic dropped.
We’re so happy that Schumer has used her platform to show that neurodivergence is not some awful thing and that being on the spectrum is nothing to be ashamed of.
Some internet commenters have noted that her husband, Chris Fischer, is not representative of all autistic people. That’s obviously true, he’s one guy and there are many, many people living with ASD. A successful chef, Fischer has low support needs while other people diagnosed with ASD may have high support needs, be pre-verbal or non-verbal and require therapy to help with repetitive behaviors, rigidity and fixations.
Simply put, autism is a spectrum disorder, which means that different families live different realities and have different feelings about it.
For Schumer’s family, ASD is not a negative thing, but it is okay if it’s a negative thing for you, mama. It’s okay if you are coping with this. It’s okay if you can’t quite be as positive as Schumer because you’re lying awake at night wondering if your child will grow up to be like her husband or if they’ll be living with you forever.
This is hard. Schumer’s previous comments indicate that she’s not trying to diminish that. She’s just trying to say that ASD is part of a person she loves, who is awesome and who she wouldn’t change. That’s what love is. And it’s worth applauding.
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Editor’s note: If you are concerned that you may be experiencing a postpartum mood issue, please reach out to your provider right away for diagnoses and treatment. You can also call 9-1-1 or go to a local emergency room if you feel like you are going to hurt yourself or someone else.
It’s not uncommon that mothers of newborns feel the symptoms of postpartum depression. In fact, up to 20% of women will experience PPD. Symptoms may include fatigue, anxiety, insomnia, tearfulness, irritability and loss of appetite.
After my first child was born, I felt anxious and weepy. People recommended different remedies, including getting outside, talking with friends, sleeping when the baby slept, and others. Although I slowly improved, no one ever suggested that I try singing lullabies.
According to a new study in the British Journal of Psychiatry, singing actually helps decrease the symptoms of postnatal depression (PND).
The summary of the study, found in Newsweek, cited a goal of observing women with postpartum depression to see if singing lullabies would help alleviate their symptoms.
One hundred and thirty-four women were either placed into a workshop group of 10 to 12 participants where they sang lullabies, or another group where they carried on with their regular routines for 10 weeks. The women in the singing groups brought their babies with them and were encouraged to learn lullabies and other children’s songs. The sessions lasted around 60 minutes each.
Women in both groups reported an improvement of their symptoms, but women in the singing group responded at a significantly quicker rate.
Rosie Perkins, a researcher of Imperial College of London, said, “Additionally, some of our other research with mothers has shown that singing led to greater decreases in anxiety and enhanced perceptions of emotional closeness than other social interaction.”
Women in the study found that the workshops brought a sense of identity and progress, because weren’t going through the obstacles of motherhood alone. And the singing itself helped relieve the depressed brain.
The positive effects of both singing and the camaraderie of women are not new findings when it comes to defeating depression. Think about the benefits of listening to a favorite song and how it can lift you out of a funk. Feeling less alone amidst all of the obstacles that motherhood brings is imperative, too—especially when it comes to depression after a birth of a child.
If you’re feeling the effects of postpartum depression, please seek help. In addition, consider music! If you don’t have access to a workshop like the women in the study, try singing lullabies more consistently with your baby. In conjunction with the support of you provider, you may find that singing helps your anxiety and tearfulness decrease at a quicker pace. Plus, your baby gets to hear the soothing sound their mother’s voice.
Sounds like it’s worth a try to me.
For a list of resources for postpartum depression, please visit: Postpartum depression and anxiety are more common than you may think—here are the resources you need
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Last month Bachelor alum Jade Roper Tolbert accidentally gave birth in her closet. You can’t get much more real than that. But Jade continues to serve up realness during her fourth trimester, posting a photo that proves that baby bumps don’t disappear instantly when the baby is born.
“It’s taking my uterus more time to return to its normal state this time around, but honestly I have never loved my body more than I have this postpartum,” the mom of two captioned a sweet skin-to-skin selfie with baby Brooks.
She continues: “I received several stitches and am slowly healing physically—the mental and emotional healing is hard to put a finger on, but I am giving myself grace to process everything.”
We are so happy to see Jade is recovering physically and emotionally from Brooks’ intense birth, and we’re pleased to see her talking about her recovery so candidly. Jade is right, the bump sticks around for a while especially when it is not your first pregnancy.
As Motherly’s Digital Education Editor Diana Spalding, a midwife, writes, “The extent to which the postpartum bump lasts depends on a few factors: what number baby this is (it tends to be more exaggerated with each pregnancy because everything’s been stretched out before), pre-existing strength of the abdominal muscles, and body type in general.”
In short, it is totally normal for Jade to still be rocking a bump at this stage in the game. And thankfully, she knows it. “[A]fter such an overwhelming labor and delivery, I have so much respect for my body and the journey it’s been on this year to grow and bring this perfect little joy into my life. So in love, so thankful,” Jade writes.
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